Funny Valentine’s Day Captions, can be a lot of stuff. It can be thrilling, sexy, and enjoyable. It can also be a little overwhelming and hectic, particularly if it’s a fresh cheer on your first V-Day. What are you making them? How much are you going to invest in their gift? Are you living here or making reservations? Don’t let the logistics of this famous holiday for lovers deter you from having a wonderful time. Those funny Valentine’s Day captions will set things off on a nice note, whether you’re five years old or five months old.

You do not want to write for any second of your love plans for Valentine’s Day, but if you do, that’s perfectly good. You may want a nice caption when you share, whether on Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat. Why not go a different direction and just pick a hilarious one? Poke fun at each other (or yourself) or choose from one of the following funny quotes. No matter how many Valentine’s Days you’ve spent together, the sweet moment you’re sharing with your fans, combined with a funny punchline or dry humor, will fit very well.

Funny Valentine’s Day Captions

  • “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” — Hussein Nishah
  • “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
  • “The only person I’d share my box of chocolates with.”
  • “Are you a beaver, because DAM.”
  • “My date is such a hot-tea.”
  • “Thanks for the date, Cupid.”
  • “Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.”
  • “You’re one in a watermelon.”
  • “Happy Valentine’s Day to myself. I love you.”
  • “You will always have a pizza my heart.”
  • “Roses are red. Violet are blue. Keep the flowers. I’d rather have shoes.”
  • “Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.” — Jimmy Fallon
  • “[Love is] hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop.” — 30 Rock
  • “True love is being able to fart in front of the other person.”
  • “I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye.”
  • “I’d press pause on my favorite song for you.”
  • “Valentine’s Day: the one day where I can sit at home, eat chocolate and drink wine without judgement.”
  • “Everyone’s posting all these anti-Valentine’s Day pics and I’m just over here like ‘Lindor dark chocolate truffles will be 50 percent off on the 15th.”
  • “Dear Cupid, forget the date, just send wine.”
  • “Not swiping left on this date.”
  • “What am I allergic to?” “Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.” — The Proposal
  • “I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with me true love… Food.”
  • “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.”
  • “Don’t go bacon my heart.”
  • “Love you a latte.”
  • “Yoda best partner.”
  • “Cheers to all these years with my butter half.”
  • “Our Valentine’s Day pic deserves a round of a-paws.”

Funny Valentine’s Day Captions for Single

  • I love being single. It’s almost like being rich. Sue Grafton
  • There’s nothing I am better at doing than being single! Unknown
  • I’m single because I was born that way. Mae West
  • One of the biggest pros of being single is that you’re 100% sure you haven’t get yourself involved with the wrong person.
  • If being in love is what it means to be free, then this Valentine’s Day my heart is in solitary confinement!
  • This February 14th, take a moment to laugh thoroughly at your singlehood, everybody else does!
  • I had every intent of celebrating Valentine’s Day, but when Cupid got around to me it seems he had run out of arrows.
  • If singleness were a crime, you, my friend, would certainly be one of the most dangerous criminals on planet Earth.
  • If lovers get half price off on Valentine’s Day, then singles should just get everything for free.
  • It sucks spending Valentine’s Day alone, but at least I’ll have more money to spend to make myself happy!
  • Singlehood is good on your pocket. Wishing a fantastic Valentine’s Day to you.
  • This year’s Valentine’s Day I will enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge.
  • Does anyone know the perfect gift to get a robot to wish it a Happy Valentine’s Day?
  • This Valentine’s Day, I want to give a mighty shout-out to all my peeps for still having the courage to smile despite being as single as f**k!
  • This fine V-Day, I’m going to spend every single cent I have on my one and only love – me.
  • I dumped my girlfriend on February 13th in hopes that being alone on Valentine’s Day will make me appreciate her more.
  • I’m single today because my heart was created to pump blood and not fall in love.
  • Cupid called and said he can’t make it over this February 14th as it seems the TSA detained him for carrying what they perceive as suspicious-looking chocolates.
  • If Valentine’s Day is all about affection and chocolate, then it should be a holiday dedicated to appreciating fat people.
  • I am out to break the Guinness world record for most Valentine Days spent alone.

Funny Valentine’s Day Status for Single

  • When you’re alone and proud on V-Day, you might as well shout it out loud.
  • I have chosen to be single because it makes my bank account as fat as Shrek.
  • Me and an entire box of chocolate all to myself is a match made in heaven!
  • The faithful pizza delivery man, who lovingly spreads pepperoni over the cheese, is the only Valentine I need this year.
  • By God, I shall spend the entire Valentine’s Day with the love of my life…Myself!
  • I gave my no-good boyfriend the boot earlier this month, making this the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in years!
  • Cupid pulled out his biggest arrow, aimed right at my heart and fired with all his might – but still missed.
  • Since I don’t have a partner, on Valentine’s Day, I will go around and collect Cupid’s broken arrow and then sell it back to him on eBay.
  • If acquiring a boyfriend was as easy as becoming fat, I certainly would have had one to share my Valentine’s Day with.
  • Singledom might not be the best for you, but it surely is great for your purse on V-Day!
  • Valentine’s Day is appropriately the only holiday where the popular character that symbolizes the occasion is brandishing a very deadly weapon. Thank God I’m single!
  • If Cupid is such an advocate of intimate love, then why is that he has never been spotted with a girlfriend or wife, not even on Valentine’s Day? Something is definitely not right!
  • My quest to spend every Valentine’s Day alone is based on a personal goal of achieving spiritual oneness.
  • My girlfriend is 1000 miles away this Val’s Day, and I want to extend her my sincerest holiday wishes that she stay there!
  • If you could get a good look at my ex, then you would see why I now consider Valentine’s Day more like Halloween.
  • If I actually had enough money to celebrate a holiday as frivolous as Valentine’s Day, then my girlfriend from last year would still be around.
  • I’m like a one-man shipping vessel on Valentine’s Day – mateless.
  • During Valentine’s Days like this, I feel like going back in time and freeing the love of my love from being trapped in a condom.
  • After I got finished dealing with him for his last screw-up Cupid is thoroughly afraid of even looking my direction on Valentine’s Day.

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